"Unless you were scanning the inside pages of Farmer's Guardian on 9th November last year, you might have missed a rare reference to Natual England, the new and, so far, barely visible 'champion of nature'. It reported a short interview with NE's 'chief executive', somebody called Helen Phillips. She claimed that 'our customers', by whom she presumably meant farmers, are now getting a relly top-class service with more money availiable for green activities and a dramatic reduction in 'processing time'. Perhaps by way of celebration, she and her board voted themselves generours pay bonuses."